Top 3 of The Week: Why I Still Watch American Idol

1) Surprisingly, there’s still talent out there
Maybe David Cook isn’t as good as Kelly Clarkson, but the theory that the talent isn’t as strong is NOT true. I mean, it’s not like it was Taylor Hicks who won last year! If you were to watch Season 1 again, you’d see that there were about four people who were talented enough to win, not everyone in the Top 12. And every year since is no different. So I’m not buying that logic that the talent is weaker. Because each year brings a new 16-year-old who’s eligible to compete or a guy like Cook who wasn’t even planning on trying out. I’ve got two words for you: Danny Gokey.

2) Simon Cowell
Whenever I watch a performance, the only judge who I not only agree with, but look forward to hearing from is Simon. Because while Paula is dancing in a drunken fashion, Randy is chanting Yea-Yea-Dawg and newcomer Kara is still learning the ropes, Simon is the guy who tells it like it is in his snide, witty, yet truthful delivery. Even the interaction with Ryan is often priceless. If Simon were to ever leave, THEN I’d stop watching. Then again, the show probably wouldn't carry on without him.

3) It is still entertaining!
With the amount of crap on television these days, there’s not much else to choose from when your other options are A Double Shot at Love and Bromance. And even though the ratings continue to go down for American Idol, they’re still taking in over 20 million viewers an episode. So it looks like I’m not the only one still watching!

Does ANYONE Actually Like The Taste of Starbucks?

“I just LOVE the taste of their coffee.”

If anyone has said this about Starbucks coffee, they are LYING through their yellow teeth. I have gone to Starbucks countless times, thanks to holiday gift cards, or pure convenience. After all, if you live or work in New York City, you could take a stroll and probably count a Starbucks every 30 seconds. (Why can’t it be Dunkin Donuts everywhere!) But the reason why I go is never, EVER because I say, “I just LOVE the taste of their coffee.”

The only way Starbucks coffee ever tastes good is if I double the amount of sugar and half and half I normally put in. Mix a little chocolate and cinnamon and, well, anything else they offer at that counter just to give the coffee some decent flavor, and then—and only then—will I admit the coffee tastes good. (Until I get to the bottom where the taste of the remaining condiments will make you gag.)

Now I went to business school in college. I know what kind of business plan Starbucks is operating with, and it is pure genius. Sell ambiance. Sell image. But I’m sorry. For such an upscale coffee shop, you’d at least hope that the coffee you sell isn’t as bitter as people like me who wished they came up with the concept first. When the street cart coffee tastes better than what the green-aproned Corporate America servants hand you, then what does that tell us about our society?

Holding a Starbucks cup is just like wearing a Prada bag or Rolex watch. It’s making the choice of using an iPod over a generic MP3 player. I bet you won’t see a paparazzi shot of Mary-Kate Olsen standing on the corner ordering a caramel macchiato from a street cart.

I pride myself in having good taste—be it in men, clothes, restaurants or movies. But if there’s one thing I admit I don’t have good taste in, its coffee. Because no matter how badly I dislike the taste, I’m still a Starbucks customer. That’s because I, like everyone else, is fooled by the cool atmosphere and the classy cups, and in turn, must drink the crappy coffee.


DISCLAIMER: Brooke would like to apologize on behalf of all the Starbucks drinkers who actually do like the taste of their coffee. But asks you one question: Have you even TRIED Dunkin Donuts coffee?

And the Oscar Goes To…The ACTUAL Oscars

That’s right. This year, if I had to give an Oscar for any performance, it would be the one I saw last night. For the first time in a long time, I don’t think I ever looked at the clock to see how long the show dragged on. After last year’s show, which drew the lowest ratings ever for the Oscars, the producers and staff came up with some great ideas from the minute the curtain went up showcasing the crystal arch on stage, to the minute the 2009 movie previews rolled with the credits.

Now I know I was critical of Hugh Jackman in my last post and mentioned Billy Crystal would have been better, Jackman did take a page out of his book by performing some musical acts. But what else would you expect from The Boy From Oz? He wasn’t as funny as Crystal, and without making jokes throughout the show, you almost forget he was there, but not a bad job by Hugh, not at all.

And the Oscars certainly had some creative ideas for the show. First of all, letting five of the past winners of each respective category announce each nominee gave each performer their due in a unique way. I have to admit, it was touching to witness stars like Sophia Loren speaking directly to Meryl Streep and seeing her reaction.

The only nail-biting moment came from Michael Douglas when he announced the winner of Best Actor—Sean Penn. I was hopeful Mickey Rourke would walk home with the Oscar, but he looked too cool to care anyway.

But the Oscars even found ways to make the less interesting categories relevant, by grouping them together and letting one presenter handle the duties. When you combine costume, makeup and visual effects into one related segment, I now see their importance to the movie-making process.

While there wasn’t much excitement on the red carpet (was I the only one hoping that Jen and Angelina would bump elbows?) the Oscars, overall, were an incredibly entertaining show! See below for some highlights!

-Hugh Jackman’s one funny joke of the night:

Jackman to Meryl Streep:

“Fifteen nominations, Meryl. You know, with numbers like that, that can mean only one thing: STEROIDS.”

-Ben Stiller doing his best Joaquin Phoenix impression. I just about died when he wandered off to watch the television behind him.

-The cut to Brangelina while Jennifer Aniston was presenting. How awkward could that have been for Jen!

-James Franco watching his character in the movie Milk, while playing his character in the Pineapple Express skit.

-Slumdog Millionaire’s musical performances, which gave me the chills to see how one culture could impact the Oscars so much.

Top 3 of the Week: Three Things I’d Like to See at the Oscars

1) Only Actors Should Make Acceptance Speeches
We all know how every year, we must block out the entire night to watch the Oscars , and every year, the acceptance speeches are mostly dragged out and boring. (Few exceptions: Cuba Gooding Jr shouting over the orchestra, Halle Berry’s tearful thank you, or Roberto Banini’s chair climbing excitement). So here’s my suggestion—only let famous people make acceptance speeches. No one cares what the Visual Effects Director of Benjamin Button has to say when he wins his Oscar. Sure it’s cruel to say, but if I don’t know who you are, I’m not going to care who you thank. It could be as easy as a baton relay race---just hand off the Oscar to the winners whilst walking off stage, and let the show move along…

2) Billy Crystal Will Do The Opening Monologue
Whoever hosts the Oscars is always measured up against Billy Crystal, by far the most memorable and entertaining host of the show in the past two decades. So why even bother comparing this year’s host, Hugh Jackman, to Crystal? Just let Billy do the monologue this year and every year from now on. Let the rest of the hosting duties go to the respective host, and have Crystal work his opening magic. Viewers will be satisfied, critics will applaud and the ratings will soar!

3) Unusual Responses to the Question: “Who are you wearing?”
I’ve grown accustomed to watching the red carpet pre-show along with the actual Oscars, which essentially makes this Sunday as big as the Super Bowl. But I do get a kick out of the standard carpet question: “who are you wearing?” For once, I want the actors to say “Oh this ole thing? It has been in my closet for years,” or “I found it on sale at JC Penney!” Ok, ok…I know most of these stars get these dresses and tux’s delivered to their doorsteps from designers, but it would be refreshing to find someone who shocks us all with an atypical response to what has become a typical and default, red-carpet question.

Stay tuned to next week's Top 3 of the Week!

38 And Counting....Ranking the Top Broadway Shows I've Seen!

When I was 10, I saw my first Broadway Show—Damn Yankees. I was 11 when I saw my second show, 12 when I saw my third. When I was younger, New York City to me meant the walk from Penn Station to Times Square, killing time before a Broadway show, and heading back home after. Since then, I've explored other city adventures, but Broadway still has a special place in my heart. Now, I've viewed a near 40 Broadway shows (none of which I’ve seen twice). I realized Broadway became more of a hobby, and I was always excited to come back home, take my Playbill and place it in my stack of show rankings (yes, I am cool).


So take a look at the Broadway rankings and feel free to share your thoughts!

1. Les Miserables
2. The Lion King
3. Wicked
4. Aida
5. Phantom of the Opera
6. Spamalot
7. Jersey Boys
8. Miss Saigon
9. Putnam County Spelling Bee
10. Avenue Q
11. Legally Blonde
12. Rag Time
13. In The Heights
14. Hairspray
15. The Drowsy Chaperone
16. Rent
17. Mamma Mia
18. Damn Yankees
19. Chicago
20. Passing Strange
21. The Color Purple
22. Shrek
23. Beauty & the Beast
24. Footloose
25. Rocky Horror Picture Show
26. The Wedding Singer
27. Spring Awakening
28. Xanadu
29. Into The Woods
30. The Producers
31. The King And I
32. The Music Man
33. Cabaret
34. Cirque Dreams
35. Sweeney Todd
36. A Chorus Line
37. Swing
38. 1776

How Did People Live Without Cell Phones?

When I leave the house, I make sure I have the necessities: keys, money, ID, and cell phone. If I forget my keys, money, or ID, well, I’d just use my cell phone to call the appropriate person to help out. But God forbid I ever leave home forgetting my cell phone, it’s as if I’m practically trapped on a deserted island, chanting out for help with no one there to hear me.

Which begs me to wonder, how the hell did people live without cell phones?

I can’t even imagine what it would be like going out at night without texting your friends to meet you at a bar or telling them you decided to change the night’s plans, and having NO WAY of communicating with that person until you (hopefully) meet them at your intended destination. In the past, there was no way to just sporadically meet up with other friends.

Maybe that’s why my mom yells at me when I don’t have set plans. I just rely on my cell phone and the people out to direct me.

Now I was a late-bloomer in getting a cell phone, and at times in high school, was one of the few who relied on payphones. Yes—payphones. I’ll probably tell my grandkids, “I remember the days when people used to use PAYPHONES!” but right now, I’m stuck trying to tell my grandma how to save a number as a contact in her phone. (Seriously—I don’t know what’s with that generation. I could show her 10 times how to do it, write it out step-by-step and clip it next to her photo of the grandkids and she will STILL not get it).

We have become so reliant on this piece of technology, that it’s hard to imagine living life without it. What's even harder to imagine though, is that the "phone" aspect of a cell phone isn't even the coolest feature. The more that I realize it, I barely even talk on my cell phone. It’s because ever since December, I joined the common bandwagon of “unlimited texting.” If thumb wrestling were an actual sport, I could make a good living after the workout my fingers are having. The cell phone has become so commonplace in our society, that anyone who doesn’t have one is practically Amish.

So the next time I leave my house without my cell phone, I might as well turn around and head home. That way, I can at least text my friends and let them know what happened rather than walk around aimlessly. And by aimlessly, I mean the way people used to walk, that is before they had cell phones.

Top 3 of The Week: Three Holidays You Feel Pressured To Celebrate

1) Valentine’s Day:

What other day in the entire year would you ever consider spending money on a stuffed teddy bear? Valentine’s Day is just one day to remind us all that we are either single (gotta love the term “Single Awareness Day”) or in a relationship. It’s the time where pink and red is a must, and stores like Victoria Secret and Kay Jewelers see profits soar. This is one holiday that couldn’t be divided any more by the haves (a date, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife) and the have nots (well, someone who is ALONE).

2) Halloween:

Note to self ladies: if a costume isn’t sexy enough, don’t even bother wearing one. Halloween used to be about knocking on your neighbors doors in hopes of getting the most candy before the sun sets. Now once the sun sets, its all about strutting your Sexy Cat costume, or your Sexy Cop costume, or your Sexy ______ costume. Guys, you can get away with putting a mask on your head and calling it a night, but for us girls, it’s about finding the perfect costume with the right amount of sex appeal. Trick or treat!

3) New Years Eve:

What do you mean you’re just staying home on New Years? It almost feels socially unacceptable not to do something big to ring in the New Year, like foolishly spending over $100 to get into a bar, or not getting piss-drunk at your friend’s house. When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was watch Dick and a ball drop (I probably should have phrased that better…). This year, going out felt like any other night—except for the ten seconds I turned to watch the TV at the bar (that I proudly spent all of $10 to get into) and o jeez—look at that, a new year.

Joke of the Week!

Q: What did Rihanna say to Chris Brown when he was choking her this weekend?




A: "Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air--air!"

"I was young. I was stupid. I was naive." -A-Roid

You know how you look at an old picture of yourself and say “what the hell was I thinking wearing those yellow pants or spiking my hair like that?”, only to realize the picture was taken only a few years ago.

A-Rod’s lame excuses of “all the cool kids were doing it” and “I was too young to realize what was going on” aren’t going to cut it when you were by far the coolest kid who was old enough to know better.

Whether his reputation is tarnished remains to be seen, but the poor guy (ok, not poor, not poor at all) was probably the least liked player in all of sports with his cocky attitude and fat paycheck. Now, he’s A-Fraud, too.

Before, I used to say, that I don’t care what he does off the field, as long as he performs on it. But now every time he performs on the field, I can’t help but wonder if his talent that we all thought was natural and god-given is a bit tainted. A year from now when it is discovered that he perhaps used steroids before or after the time he admitted to, is he going to be interviewed again and claim that he was "young, stupid and naive" for not admitting to it now? Hmm...

This does teach me the lesson though, that anytime anyone has a problem with my questionable past (my YouTube videos certainly qualify), I’m going to quote the great A-Rod and say the exact phrase. “I was young. I was stupid. I was naive.” Time will tell if people will buy it or not.

I Just Want To Give Jennifer Hudson a Big Hug!

Is there anyone who has anything bad to say about this girl? After her family tragedy, stellar performance at the Super Bowl (seriously, best rendition I’ve heard since Whitney Houston did it years ago at the same venue), and tearful acceptance speech at the Grammy’s I think I speak for America when I say I just want to give her a big hug!

(If only she didn't bring her purse with her, she could hug me back!)

Top 3 of the Week: Things You Say You’ll Do But Never Actually Follow Through With

1) We should do lunch!...NOT.

Remember that time you bumped into an old friend at the supermarket and didn’t know how to end the conversation, so you said “well we should get together and do lunch or something!” And after they reply “Yeah, sure!” both of you walk away knowing that you’ll probably never see them again. That is until the next time you may bump into them…

2) Yes, I will floss three times a day!...NOT.

You know how every time you go to the dentist, you are forced to believe that your teeth are the most important thing? And as the dental hygienist is trying to have a conversation with you while gurgling fluoride, she tells you, “Now you’re going to floss two times a day and rinse with fluoride at night, right?” And you say, “Yeah, sure!” Right…

3) I will finally clean and get rid of things I no longer need!...NOT.

No matter how busy or bored I am, I just can’t muster up the energy to finally go through the shelves in the basement, the old boxes in the attic, or the storage containers from college in the garage. I’ll do it…someday…right?

Stay tuned for next week's Top 3 of the Week!

BREAKING NEWS: Oprah Speaks Out About The Brooke Schneider Show Blog

"I highly recommend this blog to others. There is a thing called IT, and Brooke has IT. And lucky for you, you're ALLLLLLLLLLL GETTINGGGGGGGGGGG A FREEEEEEEEE VIEWWWWWWW!!!!"

-Oprah Winfrey

You heard it here first! Oprah has endorsed the blog, so let the stampede of visitors come on by!

Facebook is My Drug

There once was a time where my daily online routine was checking my email and the latest headlines on top news sites. Now, my routine is still the same, but the headlines have changed.

The top news stories in my life are no longer the latest on the war in Iraq, or the predicted snowstorm coming, but rather how Joe Rosen was tagged in an album and Cheri Sanders wrote a new note. My online priorities have slightly shifted to what has become an addiction to the social networking site that is Facebook. And just like how I enjoy reading US Weekly over TIME Magazine or watching The Hills over The O’Rielly Factor, I can’t say I’m proud of my addiction to Facebook.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person whose life is dictated by Facebook. In fact, it was hard enough to even take the time out to write this blog, since I can’t help but to spend time on the site. The sad thing is, I don’t even know what I’m actually doing on there all that time. Constantly refreshing the page I keep open to see my friend (or should I say acquaintance, or should I say, someone who I met randomly at a bar, on the street, or never even met at all) post new photos from their weekend ski trip, letting me know they're attending “Brad’s Boozin Party” or joined the group “Mike Small for SA President!”

The funny part about Facebook, is not just the fact that I know what’s going on in people’s lives—but the lives of people I never thought I’d keep in touch with. Remember at your high school graduation, when you looked around and said to yourself, “wow these are people I might never know from again.” Well, little did we know back then. Who needs a high school reunion when all I have to do is search “Commack High School 2004” to find out what everyone’s been up to.

Like it or not, Facebook will continue to be a part of our lives, and if you’re like me, essentially take over your life (heck, my last job I actually created fan pages and uploaded photos for clients on Facebook). I know that every photo I take when I go out is Facebook potential, and every birthday I have from now on will be highlighted by how many wall posts I receive.

But the sad thing is that now, my routine has gone from not just checking emails, but hoping that those emails are from Facebook, only to then, be directed to the site that has become my drug.

The Problem With Watching The Super Bowl

What to wear when you enjoy watching the Super Bowl game, the halftime show, and the commercials!