I’m Sorry, But I Love Romantic Comedies

"Hey Brooke--we're going to see Watchmen, you want to come?"

No thanks, I’ll pass.

“Brooke—we’re renting Quantum of Solace, you want to watch it with us?

Nope.

“Brooke, you want to go see He’s Just Not That Into You?”

Absolutely!

What you just read was a reenactment of my daily routine. I will pretty much always be in the mood for a romantic comedy, while all other movies will take a back seat to the often fluffy, unrealistic nonsense that makes up my favorite genre.

The truth is, I don’t care that some of my favorite movies will never win an Oscar. All I want is to be entertained. I want a great romantic story with a bit of comic relief and a happy ending. That’s it. That’s all I need.

I don’t want to be scared out of my mind, or grossed out with bloody scenes, or get involved in a convoluted story. I just want a basic, easygoing film that will satisfy my craving for a diversion from my work or daily life. I just want something that will make me laugh a little, put a smile on my face, and give me hope that maybe, perhaps, it is possible that the man of my dreams will stop me at the airport before I board a plane to tell me that he loved me. Or maybe that the stranger I met on the subway actually is going to find me again and we’ll magically fall in love.

Ok, fine—you claim that romantic comedies aren’t realistic. You’re right. Films about superheros or constant explosions are much better depictions of real life.

Now it’s not that I don’t enjoy all types of movies out there—when I’m in the right mood. But I will always be in the mood for When Harry Met Sally, Hitch, Pretty Woman or 13 Going on 30.

What can I say—I’m a hopeless romantic comedy lover!

Italian Food is a Ripoff!

Cost of Box of pasta: $.88 cents

Cost of Average Italian Pasta Dish at Nice Restaurant: $20

Therefore, you are essentially paying about $19 for tomato sauce and some grated cheese. Now I’m not a huge pasta fan, so that is part of the equation, but I can see spending that kind of money on a steak, or fish, or interesting dish, but not on a plate that should cost all of $2 and would taste probably just as good if it came out of your microwave!

Top 3 of the Week: Why I Don't Like Twitter

*Disclaimer: I have signed up for Twitter for work-related purposes, but have yet to find its social meaning...read on for my reasons...

1) I Use Facebook
There are only so many social networking sites I can update. It’s bad enough that Facebook has resorted to its Twitter-like format, which mind you, I still don’t like. So I can’t imagine embracing the real thing when it’s already influenced the one site I love in such an annoying and negative way.

2) I Really Don't Care What You Do
Maybe my addition to Facebook is misleading. Yes, it’s nice to check out your pictures from your trip to Europe and that you’re in a new relationship, but telling me that you just ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or just got out of yoga class is really the last thing I care to know from my "friend." Is that mean? I’m sorry.

3) All The Cool Kids (aka Celebs) Are Using It
This is the same way Scientology picked up steam, and you don’t see me following that either. Cougar Demi Moore and her cub, Aston Kutcher use it (so much so that it was a headline that she saved someone from suicide on it) and John Mayer “tweeted” his breakup with Jennifer Aniston. If some celebrity gossip-lover like myself isn’t into following their lead, you know I’m not cut for the Tweet world.

Susan Boyle: The Under Dog, Ugly Ducking and Cash Cow

If you haven’t heard of the name Susan Boyle, it’s time to flip open a newspaper, check the headlines on the news, and open up that link your friends sent you. Because Susan Boyle, a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent, is the buzz around the entire globe.

But the beauty about Boyle is not her image. Obviously.

It’s the idea that this average-looking, past-her-prime female is the talk of the world because of her talent.

We’re taught by American Idol that singing is about “image,” but when you’re in your car blasting a song, do you really care what that singer looks like?

Fox recently announced that they are creating More To Love, a dating show to counter The Bachelor, featuring essentially, overweight, average-looking people looking for love. Why not create an American Idol version of the same kind?

In recent years, American Idol has expanded its age range to open up the pool of potential contestants. It’s time to expand them again. If Susan Boyle taught us anything, it’s that if you have talent, no matter what age, you deserve a chance to shine too.

So I suggest Fox create American Idol: More To Love and show that America can root for the under dog, the ugly duckling, which can, in turn, give Fox its cash cow.

Curse You Umbrella!!!!

Dear Umbrella,

You have failed me. Time, and time again.

Why is it that no matter if i spend $3 or $25 on you, you can't seem to get yourself together? Whether it's heavy rain or wind, you let me down. You fall apart. You just can't seem to handle the pressure, and quite frankly, I'm getting fed up with you.

And now, thanks to Rihanna, I can't say your name without being it followed by "ella-ella-ey-ey," which annoys me even more.

So where do we go from here? Do I keep replacing you with your cheap counterparts knowing that your death is only a matter of time? Or do i invest more money with the hope that you're built strong enough to defy the strong winds and heavy downpour-- or is it not worth it, with the likelihood that you TOO cannot avoid your own inevitable downfall?

Either way, you should know that I still rely and count on you to protect me, and I want the best for you. But for god sakes, stop pissing me off already and do what I paid you to do.

Sincerely,

Your owner,

Brooke

Top 3 of The Week: Why I Detest Public Bathrooms

1) Toilet Seats
I still can't wrap my head around the concept that we humans are comfortable with our bare asses touching the same toilet seat that other stranger's tooshies have touched. Thankfully, I have perfected my squatting through my many camping trips, and by camping trips, I mean college frat party bathrooms and grungy bars downtown at Binghamton University.

2) Privacy of Doing Your Business
Now I'm not going to get into graphic details (a post on where we excrete is enough), but I can say that sometimes I like to do things on my own, and that includes peeing. If I had the option, I'd definitely rather not sit there worrying about whether the person next to me can hear my every move.


3) Tipping Those Damn Workers
I'm sorry, but as nice as it is for you to turn on the faucet for me and hand me a paper towel, I am fully capable of doing both on my own. Jumping over the bar to fix myself an Apple Martini is a different story, but in no way do I feel obligated to tip someone for forcefully doing a job I never asked them for help with in the first place. Now the only question remains is if I can still use the hair spray and take one of your mints.

McDonald’s Snack Wrap—My Guilty Pleasure

Whenever I go out at night and haven’t eaten much, all I really ask for is for a few bites of real food. I don’t want a bag of pretzels. I don’t want a candy bar. I just want something that will coat my stomach until I’m ready to call it a night. And what I really crave, is a McDonald’s Snack Wrap.

We all seem to have this notion that fast food is the unhealthiest thing we could put into our stomachs. And while I mostly agree (I would not go near a McD’s burger), do you realize how bad the food is that your eating when you eat out? Even salads have high fat content. Unless you’re just chomping on some lettuce and carrots, just because there’s green on your plate doesn’t mean it’s healthy. And just because your meal doesn’t come with nutrition facts doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know what’s going into your body.

Crispy Ranch Snack Wrap: 330 Calories, 16 grams of fat

Slice of Pizza: 480 calories, 10 grams of fat

Buffalo Chicken Salad @ Chili’s: 870 calories, 55 grams of fat

My point is, I’m tired of the idea that fast food is sooo much worse than other things we might eat. Now don’t get me wrong. I eat just about as healthy as the next person. My stepfather is in culinary school and knows how to cook healthy. My mom reads the Nutrition Facts of everything she buys. And I hate the feeling I get after eating oily, fattening and rich foods. So in all, I know what eating healthy entails.

But I’ll be damned if I want to head into McDonald’s and grab myself a Snack Wrap (ok..maybe a small fries too…), I’m going to do it. And I’m not going to feel guilty about it!

Top 3 of the Week: Why it's Nice to be Employed Again

1) I Can Now Be A Part of Society Again
No longer do I feel like a waste of life. Ladies and gentlemen, I now again feel like I am contributing to society. Sure, it was nice to sleep til 12, have time to work out, and watch as much TV as I want. But when I got tired from running my one errand to the post office, I realized I'm too young to have the lifestyle of my grandparents.

2) Small Talk Convos Can Now Run Smoothly
You all know how I just LOVE to have small talk with family, friends or strangers. But now that I am working again, the conversations can be as complete and pointless as they should be. The standard questions of "How's work going?" and "What's new at work?" can now be followed by "it's going" and "same ole, same ole," respectively.

3) Getting A Paycheck I Feel Like I Earned
I can say with certainty that the easiest and most lucrative job I've ever had is filing for unemployment every week. Answer six easy questions and BAM!--the government is wiring over a decent check directly to my bank account. But there is something to be said for working for your money, and working hard for your money. And let me tell you, with this new job, I work hard for the money, so hard for it honey, I work hard for the money so you better treat this blog right--because I'm still going to keep it going!

Who REALLY Watches Soap Operas?!

Last week, it was announced that the soap opera, Guiding Light, is heading off the air after 72 years—that’s right—72 YEARS on the tube. Shocking that a show can last that long? Or shocking that I, myself, cannot last longer than 72 seconds watching this horrific television genre.

I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t understand how people can watch soap operas.

Ok, lied. I do know what it is.

It is the poor and overly-dramatic acting and the cheesy storylines. Now I know the target audience is housewives, but seriously—WHO is watching this television nonsense, enough so that it is an hour-a-day, five-hour-a-week commitment!

I’m not saying I watch the most quality shows on television (perhaps a blog post about The Real Housewives to come...), but I find it hard to believe that anyone can take Days of Our Lives or General Hospital seriously when the random hot guy on the street could probably act just as well as a castmember or the 8th grader in middle school could write up the script just as well as the current ones. Harsh words, I know.

The reality is, I just don’t understand how these writers or producers can create these episodes daily and think that its quality acting, quality stories, and essentially, quality television!

Economic Tip of the Day!

Is the economy hitting you hard? Do you find you can't afford to buy lunch anymore? Just head to your nearest Costco for some free samples and be on your merry way! Just grab an extra few and say it’s for your friend.

Yankees & Mets Season Preview!

Yankees Preview:
It’s hard to believe the economy is in shambles, company lay-offs are commonplace, and filing for unemployment is a weekly tradition for many, but you would never know it from looking at the Yankees. Over $400 million was spent on all of three players this offseason in an attempt for the team to right their always-playoff bound ship.

CC Sabathia. AJ Burnett. Mark Teixiera.


The Yankees certainly know from recent experience that buying championships doesn’t work, just ask Randy Johnson, Jason Giambi or Carl Pavano. Investing money in Sabathia though, a bonafide #1 pitcher, and Mark Teixeira, a perfect All-Star compliment player to a team already built with All-Stars are two key additions that appear to have no downside. A bit more skepticism surrounds Burnett, on the other hand, who brings with him only one solid year in the majors and questions surrounding his makeup for New York and concerns over his previous DL stints.

Regardless, the Yankees team this season does have a different feel to it, and it’s not just because they’re playing in the $1.6 billion new Yankee Stadium. It’s because for the first time since the dynasty years, the Yankees are built around solid starting pitching and great clubhouse guys (additions like Teixeira and Nick Swisher).

So Joe Girardi and the Yanks appear to be very optimistic to start the season. But it does look like for the first time in many years, they have every reason to believe they can bring back a championship to New York.


Mets Preview:
Nothing has been more painful for the Mets and their fans than the prior two Septembers. Monumental collapses occurred not once, but TWICE in the past two seasons for a team that looked primed to do some serious damage in the playoffs. But the Achilles heel last season wasn’t the starting staff or the revived offense led by the soon-to-be free agent Carlos Delgado, it was the bullpen.

So what did GM Omar Minaya do? He got not one, but two All-Star closers to anchor the pen. K-Rod, who broke the all-time single season saves record last year, and J.J. Putz from Seattle will shorten games this season at the new Citifield Park.

What Minaya didn’t do was listen to the fans who rioted outside the SNY studios chanting “Sign Manny Ramirez.” Albeit a great addition to the lineup, the cost of dollars and risk of tainting the clubhouse chemistry were reasons enough to pass on Ramirez. Newly-signed Gary Sheffield, if healthy and has enough left in his 40-year-old tank, could provide the same level of intimidation to pitchers and power as Ramirez if he comes through the way his uncle, Dwight Gooden wishes.

All in all, the Mets have just too much talent on their team to allow for THIRD straight September collapse. The lineup is well-balanced, Santana is poised to reach 20 wins the way he should have last year, and the Mets are determined to play hard for the entire 162 games this season, which includes those games in September.

LET’S PLAY BALL!

Top 3 of the Week: Why A Chick Like Me Digs Baseball!

1) It’s more than just balls and strikes
To any person watching baseball, it might appear you get the gist of the game, and that’s fine because the gist is probably all you need to enjoy our nation’s pastime. But to know that a pitcher intentionally throws a pitch in the dirt when the count is 0-2, or that a speedster on the base paths is almost guaranteed to swipe 2nd on a 2-0 count, or that a lefty specialist is bound to come in to face a left-handed power-hitter in the 8th inning and enter the game in a double switch so he doesn’t have to hit sooner in the lineup (in the NL that is), might go above the head for the average fan. But I’ve always loved the strategy of the sport, which is why I probably enjoy it more than others!


2) I Live in New York
New York is well-represented in every major sport, with multiple teams in most. But while football, hockey and basketball fans will always be passionate about their teams, New York is by and large a baseball town. With no salary cap in place, the large-market Yankees and Mets are guaranteed to be able to afford the big stars who want the big paychecks for a chance to play on the big stage here. So considering the quality of talent on these teams, it’s great to be a baseball fan in New York, definitely more so than, say, Kansas City.
3) I Can Multitask While I Watch
Baseball is one of the few sports where you can literally fall asleep every 3 minutes and still not miss anything in the game. When I was younger, I used to be able to do all my homework while I watched a game. Now, I can surf the net, talk to friends, work out, cook a gourmet meal, do a crossword puzzle, redesign my room or find the cure for cancer and still be able to watch the Yankees play the Red Sox. Now don’t get me wrong, the minute to minute excitement may not be there like some other sports, but its still a great game to watch—especially if you realize its more than just balls and strikes AND you live in NY!

With that said, let the games begin! Can’t wait for the 2009 season to begin—Subway Series—here we come!