(PLEASE DON’T) Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE baseball. But I find it almost impossible to pay attention to what’s going on at a game when I’m at a stadium watching it.

What inning is it peanuts? You want peanuts? So when was the last time you went to a wait who just hit the home run?! Did you want to stay till the end of the when did they take the starter out?!


The ironic thing about this all is that I, unlike a casual fan who attends games, actually prides myself in my knowledge of the game, the stats, and the current storylines (after all, it’s kind of what I do for a living right now!) But if I really want to watch a game, I plop myself in front of the TV, listen to the analysts and actually see where the actual pitches cross the plate.

Now I do enjoy the atmosphere of being at the stadium on a nice day or night, but the only thing that catches my interest more at a stadium than on TV is seeing the fans fight for each foul ball when it lands.



So next time I get offered tickets from work or through friends, I’m going to probably still go, but it’s certainly not going to be because I want to pay close attention to the actual game. It’s because I want to pay three times the price of a hot dog and beer, of course!

Top 3 of the Week: Reactions to Last Week's Deaths

Everything happens in 3's they say, and that includes not just last week's celebrity deaths, but the top 3 of the week!

1) Ed McMahan
Ok so at 86, I can't really say your death was a tragedy. You lived a long life, and there's nothing to feel sorry for, except for the fact that the last years of your life were spent nearly bankrupt thanks to poorly managing your savings. To me, you won't be remembered as the "Tonight Show" sidekick but rather an intruder onto someone's lawn carrying a massive size check.
Leaves behind: NO ASSETS! The man was practically bankrupt!


2) Farrah Fawcett
Boy, did you pick a bad day to kick the bucket. Your death certainly was "untimely," as only hours later, the King of Pop stole your crown in the spotlight and top story in the news. Your death was tragic, but not unexpected, as your battle with anal cancer (ouch) was highly publicized and left us wondering, like Patrick Swayze, just how many days you had left.
Leaves behind: Eery footage from recent documentary about battle with cancer, and oh yeah, photos like these that might still be up on walls of male fans!


3) Michael Jackson
Now we're talking shocker. Kudos to Jackson for the capability of captivating the attention and remorse from the entire globe (heck for all we know, his alien looking counterparts in this universe might be shedding a tear, too). Hard to say whether or not we can really feel his death, as right now, through the playing of his music, purchase of his cds, and tv specials, Jackson is more alive than ever.
Leaves behind: Countless hits that will live on forever, and that Neverland Ranch that should probably be destroyed!

It Didn't Matter If You Were Black Or White - RIP Michael Jackson

It was an eery afternoon for many on Thursday, July 25th. At about 4:00pm, I had a conversation with my friend on the way to work, discussing the death of Farrah Fawcett. I then proceeded to start this topic.

"I wonder how many entertainment figures would get a huge global response when they pass away," I said.

I thought Elton John or Paul McCartney, perhaps Meryl Streep or Barbra Streisand. What I didn't think of was Michael Jackson, but no later than 2 hours after that discussion did the whole world shutter in disbelief when the King of Pop passed away.

People die all the time (yes, it's scary, but our time will come too), but our responses vary greatly. Ed McMahan and Farrah Fawcett passed away last week too, but it was only Michael Jackson who gave us all a "WAIT WHAT?! No, I refuse to believe it" response.

But when I look back at Michael Jackson, I can't really say it's a human who passed away. After all, his appearance matches that of, well, no one. The guy was truly one of a kind. What's sad, is that my first instinct was to make jokes with my co-workers when Jackson passed away.

"It doesnt matter if you're black or white--you're dead!"

"Do you think Michael Jackson sang 'You Are Not Alone' to Farrah Fawcett on their way to heaven?"

"Oh, Michael Jackson was sent to the hospital? Wonder if it was a Children's hospital."


What's sad is that I'm actually upset that we didn't get a chance to see Jackson's progression into old age. You know, like what that face would have looked like, or if his nose would just fall off completely.


But what I find eery about this whole death is the aftermath. This was just one man (again, hard to tell by looking), who had the power to make an impact on the entire world. With facebook statuses updating at a rapid rate, crowds flocking in memoriam, and Jackson's music blasting from cars on the road, we recognize that this man, Michael Jackson, is probably one of the small handful of people who can create such an impact when they die.

Pens: A Disappearing Act

I truly believe this is one of life’s greatest mysteries. No matter what, pens will continue to disappear on us. But what I want to know is where the hell do they go?

Don’t you find yourself constantly buying new packs of pens, only to eventually lose those too? Sure, pens eventually run out of ink, but I think for every 12 pack of pens I buy, I remember tossing out just one because it was no longer functional.

We’ve all borrowed a pen and accidentally kept it, which may also explain why we lose pens too, but then somehow manage to lose that pen we just borrowed!

So I ask you this, pens:

WHERE ARE YOU GOING AND WHY ARE YOU HIDING FROM US!

Top 3 of the Week: Reasons Why I Hate the Beach

1) The Sand

There's nothing I find more gross than finding sand everywhere, not just when you're at the beach, but when you come home (and we all know what I mean by everywhere). I think my hatred towards the sand stems from a traumatizing experience when I was younger, when a bratty little daughter of my mom's friend threw sand all over my head. It was at that moment, I knew, my life on the beach, would never, be the same.

2) The Water

If I have the ocean water go up past my knees, that is an accomplishment. Swimming with seaweed, sand, jelly fish and oh yeah, even the possibility of SHARKS, just doesn't seem like the most enjoyable pastime. Oh, did I mention the delicious tasting saltwater that gets in your mouth? The one satisfaction I get out of the ocean is the waves, and since I've mastered creating waves through the use of floats in pools, I'm content.

3) The People

One of the beauties of tanning and swimming by a pool is privacy. Having to deal with screaming children running across your towel, or having to see that overweight man in his tiny Speedo, are things I like to avoid when I'm enjoying a relaxing day in the sun.

There’s No Fun in Gift Registries

A few weeks ago I went to my cousin’s engagement party. While most family and friends departed at the end, as immediate family members, we had the privilege of staying and watching my cousin and his fiancé open gifts. I like to think of us as VIPs, but I try not to brag.

The happy couple registered at Bed Bath & Beyond. For those of you who don’t know, a gift registry is set up where the happy couple will tour the store and scan the items they wish to receive, essentially guaranteeing them the items they desire. However, in the process, takes all the fun away from opening presents.

Oh, the SmartPower Blender?
Wow! I didn’t expect this!
The Grenache wine set?
I did NOT see that coming!


What I always like, is the awkward looks you give when you open a present that you have no interest in receiving. The fake smile and the “Oh, gee, this is…great…thanks…” is often priceless to watch.

The only element of surprise with gift registries comes from seeing what your family and friends set as a dollar value for you. You picked out every item. You know what they cost.

Only the $25 table clothes?
Gee, thanks Uncle Michael.
The $200 plate set?
Wow, cousin Sue, that was very generous.

I’m sure I’m going to use a gift registry when my day comes, but while I’m going to enjoy the gifts in the end, the fun of opening gifts just won’t be the same.

I Am Officially Part of the Apple Cult

Never in my life have I experienced something like this. An ultimate bond. An undeniable trust. An over-the-top obsession.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have never met an owner of a Mac computer, brace yourself when you do.

Obsession, is an understatement.

If you ever diss an Apple computer in front of a Mac user, it's as if you've insulted their unborn child. If you ever praise it? Well it's like you've become their new best friend. And from what I learned, if you talk to a Mac user and let them know you've bought a Mac, why it's like you've converted to their religion.

Ok, I don't think you need to worry about me going this far.

What I want to know is how Apple is capable of creating such a strong fan base, that it's almost turned into a cult. And what I'd like to see, if I, now a new Apple user, am going to be a part of it. Do you see Dell user's unite in Facebook groups? No. Do you see North Face customers discuss the details of their purchases in their free time? Absolutely not. Only Apple has the capabilities of such.

Time will tell if I'm going to follow the trend and, but all I know is that I've crossed over to the dark side. And by the "dark side," I mean a better functioning, sleeker look, trendier features, and a more socially acceptable side of computers.

COME JOIN ME!

Top 3 of the Week: Places You're Not Supposed to Meet A Partner

1) At a Bar
You're not supposed to meet your future husband or wife at a bar, right? After all, the intention of many guys isn't to find love when they're out on the town, but most likely to find a way to get into a ladies pants that night. And the girls intention? Why, of course, to get some free drinks out of the deal! (just kidding...maybe.) But if you're single, isn't the point of going out to meet someone perhaps? If you just so happen to find a keeper at the bar and exchange numbers, the stigma of meeting each other there won't go away.


2) On the Internet
Ok so if you meet the "players" or the "sluts" at the bar, then its the "perverts" and the "creeps" you need to watch out for online. The internet is the up-and-coming way to meet people, that is if you play it safe. A lot of people still have a hard time embracing the new-age concept, doubting that you can really trust people online. But when you hear success stories left and right, you got to think there's something to this easy-way-to-find-out-in-a-matter-of-seconds just-by-reading-a-profile, if someone is right for you.


3) At Work
So, ok, so meeting someone on the internet is a more modern search, but finding love at work has always been considered taboo. Have people done it in the past? Sure, whether it's overcoming the office gossip or hiding it all together. But the real issue isn't when you're dating that person. It's the aftermath of seeing them on a daily basis if it doesn't work out!

So what the hell is left? Unless its meeting friends of friends (and of course awkwardness could ensue if THAT doesn't work out), or having the man of your dreams save you from being hit by a bus, there's no IDEAL way to meet someone!

What I Crave is...Apparently Raw Fish!

I can't help but crave a spicy tuna roll or a dragon roll or a california roll when I'm in the mood for food.

But I never would have guessed that between hot fudge sundaes, cheeseburgers, pizza or any other type of satisfying food, I crave that of RAW FISH.

But c'mon, who doesn't love the fun in eating sushi!

Just keep in mind that it is essentially what you see below!

College-Best Four Years of Your Life? I HOPE NOT!

'College is the best four years of your life.'

Whoever originated that phrase must have been drunk.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved college, and remember it fondly (I did only graduate last year). But best four years of your life? How depressing is that to know you’ve already experienced the best time in your life by the ripe old age of 22.

Now for me, and maybe it’s just me, the best four years of my life are going to be:

1) the year I meet and fall in love with my future husband

2) the year I actually marry my husband

3) the year my first child is born

4) the year we move into a house and build our life and family together

The best four years of my life are not:

1) the year I gained my freshman 15

2) the year I first chalked my ID

3) the year I ate chicken salad 20 times per week because it was the only thing I enjoyed at the Dining Hall

4) the year I was scared out of my mind when I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life

Again, I loved college, met some great friends, accomplished a lot, but if it’s the best four years of my life, I ask (in the most dramatic voice possible)

what’s the point of livingggggg?!

Top 3 of the Week: Shows to Watch This Summer

1) So You Think You Can Dance
If you like American Idol, its not because you just love to hear the sound of different peoples voices. It’s because you like the show format, the competition, and the presentation. If that’s the case, So You Think You Can Dance is no different. Last year, I watched it for my former Commack-native Courtney Galiano who made it all the way to the finals. This year, I’m watching it because it’s a good show, period.



2) Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-List
If you've ever seen her do stand-up, you're probably not impressed like I am. But if you haven't watched her show, then you're missing out. Griffin is at her comedic best when she's joking with her assistants or during her camera interviews. With Last Comic Standing not returning this summer, My Life on the D-List is probably the funniest show on television, that is if you enjoy more than just people falling in a puddle of mud in Wipeout.



3) Real Housewives of New Jersey
By far, one of my favorite series on television, and for what reason? I couldn't even tell you. I've grown to love this rotating series about the rich and spoiled, ditzy and sleazy housewives who take part in it. For New Jersey, emphasis on the word "sleazy" as it further proves to me you don't have to be smart to have it all, you just have to marry someone who does.

Stomachs: A Mind of Their Own

Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes, your stomach has a mind of its own?

Think about it.

How many times does it get moody and growl at you?

We can’t really control it. We have no idea when it’s going to act up, flip out, or weigh us down. And when it does, it's usually at the most inopportune time. You know, like during a test, on a job interview, or at a funeral.

It’s like a cat, when it’s hungry, it let’s you know, and once you feed it, it goes back to doing its own thing.

I’m telling you, sometimes, I really do feel like my stomach has a mind of its own.

Just think about it.

Reality TV - Thanks, But No Thanks

OK, so when my life gets to be too awesome and a TV producer offers to film my relationships on a reality TV show, remind me to say thanks, but no thanks. Because I think we realize, with fame and fortune, comes drama and divorce.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 is the latest saga to hit the pages of US Weekly, proving yet again, that the intrusion of cameras just doesn’t lead to happily ever after. Jessica Simpson, Hulk Hogan, Carmen Electra and Travis Barker, are just some examples of the marriage casualties endured from reality TV.

So is it worth it? Why would people want to give it a go still, knowing this type of damage can happen? Maybe people just can’t turn down a lucrative contract, the fame, and the publicity.

Just remind me to turn it down when I get the offer, ok?

Top 3: Fascinating Things I Still Can't Wrap My Head Around

1) Airplanes
Am I the only one who still feels like a little kid when my plane lifts off the ground and I point down at the ant-like people? Conceptually speaking, its pretty fascinating to know that we humans can sit in a man-made machinery and ride above the clouds. I still look forward to riding airplanes, almost so much so that it becomes my actual vacation. Ride it one way, and turn around home when I'm at the next airport. (I keed, I keed :)


2) Pregnancy
Now I know when I have my own child, it's going to feel like a miracle, but I can't help but think how FREAKY it is to have a living thing growing inside your body. Granted, that living thing is your child that you will love unconditionally and take care of the rest of your life, but damnn...to go to bed at night with stomach pains, only to realize its the creature inside you kicking, that's got to be a bit freaky, no? (ok fine...your child is NOT a "creature")



3) Telephones
This isn't a new invention like the airplane, but still is mindboggling to me. As advanced as we are technologically speaking, I'm still in awe as to how we can communicate via the basic telephone from various locations around the world. I was in the middle of the desert in Israel talking to my mom on the phone from our house in Long Island. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?