Top 3 of the Week: Naïve Thoughts I Had As a Child

1) Babies Were Made By Kissing
Before “Mature Night” in 4^th grade, I had this notion that a child was brought into the world by the art of kissing, in which the saliva of the male was transferred to the female, and bam…she’s pregnant! Aww, sweet innocent Brooke, who thought the below-the-belt tools given by God were just for show.

1) Babies Were Made From Kissing

Until maturity night in 4th grade, I was under the impression that a child was reproduced from parents kissing, and that the saliva was the reason why. And here, I thought the below the belt tools from God were just for show.

2) Tiny Little People Sat in Traffic Lights

Now don’t ask me why I thought these tiny humans only existed in this device, but how else could I explain that a red light turned green as soon as our car approached it? My theory? Well, a little oompa lumpa was at the control switch and peaked out of his hole to see approaching cars.

3) Heaven Was Set Up Like Bleachers
Everyone says when people die, they go to heaven and look down on us, right? Well, as a child, I couldn’t help but think “how is there enough room in the sky for EVERY dead person to see us?!” So I had a theory that heaven was operating like a huge stadium, in which each year, every row shifts down one aisle for a better glance of the world. Yes, imagine the likes of Abraham Lincoln and Elvis Presley standing up on New Year’s and making their way down to the next row. Hey, this one still has a fighting chance to be right…

Kids say the darndest things, don’t they?!