Top 3 of the Week: Annoying Things About Eating Out

1) What to Order
Does anyone else have as much trouble with this as I do? If ordering the crabcakes instead of the T-bone steak and regretting it is a microcosm of my life, than that explains why I'm still single. The complications ensue when restaurants vary dishes slightly and its our job to decipher it (wait..the only difference is that this one comes with guacamole!) or when the menu is an actual book where you actually flip pages (thank you cheesecake factory and local diners).


2) Poor Service
Now I was never in the waiting business, so I can't say I know from experience, but it isn't hard to learn some proper manners. I don't care if it's Applebees-- when one person is still eating, don't clear away the other persons plate. When my glass of water has been empty for a half hour, please come fill it. And when I ask for something please remember to bring it out without having to remind you twice.


3) Splitting the Check
We've all been there before. Whether it's a date, a dinner with family or with friends, some awkwardness can ensue when the check arrives. Some people prefer splitting the bill halfway in which case I say screw you for ordering the lobster and wine while I sipped on ice water with my Caesar salad. Even figuring out the tip and eating out with a large group is too much of a headache sometimes. I don't know about you but eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich on my couch can be just as nice!

Rant of the Week: Fantasy Sports Ain't For Me..

Automated Customer Service: I HATE YOU.

What you are about to read is a true story between a customer and a frigging automated machine.

Welcome to our customer service line. Before we begin, I'd like to ask you a series of questions. How long have you had this product?
2 weeks.
I'm sorry. Did you say...3 weeks?
2... WEEKS.
I'm sorry. Did you say...2 years?
Oh my god I hate you.
I'm sorry. I didn't understand you.
Ahhhhh! [Pressing 0. Pressing 0.]
Ok. We will connect you with a customer service representative.
[2 minutes go by]
I'm sorry. We are experiencing a high volume of calls. Please try again later. Goodbye. *CLICK*

WHAT THE $@%#!!!!!!!

Am I the only one who wants to stick a knife in my eye when I deal with these automated machines?? Now I consider myself pretty technologically savvy. I mean, after all, at age 24, it's my generation that should be able to handle it, right? Wrong. I'm even getting worked up right now writing this when I think about how frustrating it is! Argh!!!

But we can't argue that it's a sign of the times. Look at the movie Up In The Air. Human interaction becomes secondary when computerizing business is a cheaper alternative. So where does this leave us?

Well today, we're left with either suffering through automated machines or speaking to a rep that's been outsourced from overseas. Either way, they're not going to understand the English coming out of our mouths!

So what are we to do?

To do our best to avoid calling customer service, press 1.
To make sure you take blood pressure medicine before you call and have a warm bath waiting for you after, press 2.
To stick it out every time with the hope someone, eventually, for the life of you, can solve your issue, please stay on the line, and a customer representative will be with you shortly. And by shortly...we mean a half hour, that is if we don't hang up on you before...thank you for your patience.

Top 3 of the Week: Actresses Who I Want to Be Friends With

1) Sandra Bullock
I don't think there's any actress who seems more approachable with a greater sense of humor than the newest Oscar-winning star, Sandra Bullock. Every interview she's done makes her sound real, grateful, and sarcastic about her success. But ugh, the poor woman. Just as her career was beginning to reach it's apex her mismatch of a husband, the sleezy-tatooed Jesse James, had to cheat on what actually resembles a tatooed cheetah. (have you seen pictures of this woman?) She deserved a better man before this (I saw James on Celebrity Apprentice-he's as odd as they come.), and with these recent news, it looks like Sandra needs a friend now more than ever!


2) Kate Winslet
There are some people, men or women, who, let's be frank, grow up ugly. (I've already burned childhood photos of my tomboy days.) Well Kate would be the first to admit that she was heading down the wrong "Revolutionary" road. And now she's blossomed into one of the more naturally beautiful woman in Hollywood. Recently, she too had to witness her husband having relations with another woman during their marriage. Talk about a sinking ship. But time and time AND time again, she proves just how important natural ability is, whether it's on the big screen or on the red carpet!

3) Sarah Jessica Parker
Now I've been pretty mean to SJP through the years, as whenever I think about Hollywood stars who are only pretty thanks to stylists, and makeup artists, Sarah is the first person to pop into mind. I wonder if I think of Carrie Bradshaw more than I do Sarah Jessica Parker when I see her, but there is something appealing about her. Maybe it's that adorably bubbly Kristen Chenoweth quality she has in interviews, but whatever it is, she helps round out my Top 3 of women who prove you don't have to act superficial to act in Hollywood!

American Idol..more like American Idle

As you may remember from my post last year, (actually I hope u don't remember, I hope you have more important things filling your brain- but if you forgot here it is) I'm a loyal fan of American Idol. But this season is missing something. And I'm not even referring to Paula Abdul.



In fact, I barely even notice she's been gone. While Ellen hasn't been as funny as I expected (most of her critiques don't generate laughter) she actually gives some decent feedback. So much so that even Simon agrees with her. But I do think, too, that Kara has comfortably come into her own as a judge. So no, the absence of Paula isn't the problem.
It's the absent of talent.


Sure I still believe that when it's all said and done this seasons winner could rival any of the past title holders. And my money is on Big Mike for his feel- good story, fun personality and the pipes to match it all. But what's missing this year is the depth of talent and the varied singers present. There's no wannabe rocker like Chris Daughtry or Allison Iraheta. There's no future pop star written all over them like Jordin Sparks or Kelly Clarkson. At this rate they're going to run out of Jason Mraz and Duffy songs to cover!

But I wonder, if the early favorite Crystal Bowersox wins, would her songs be mainstream enough for the radio? I think not. (See past winners Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard). Even Mike might have trouble getting airtime on the Top 40 stations.


Every year we wonder if the talent is still out there. And if you've watched this season, you've gotten a sense whether the judges really believe it's there either after constantly criticizing contestants for choosing the wrong song, not making it their own, making it too much of their own or just plain not singing well. But there is still talent on American Idol this season. It's next season that's going to suffer when the true talent, Simon Cowell, leaves!

Top 3 of the Week: Why I Will Never Smoke Cigarettes

All the cool kids are doing it, right?
Guess I'll never be cool.

1) It Smells

Now besides the side effects of breathing in second-hand smoke, I can't handle the stench on my clothes or hair when I get back from a night out, and I certainly can't handle chatting with someone whose breathe stinks. And with that said, there's no way I can date someone who smokes either. Now I don't judge others for smoking, but I seriously question how anyone could be ok with that smell.

2) It Gets Expensive

So depending on your rate of inhaling, you could be spending a good chunk of your weekly paycheck on packs of cigarettes. (And a chunk of your time standing outside your office for your cigarette breaks, which to some, the excuse for a break is appealing in itself). Obviously, the addiction means we're not talking about a one-time purchase here. So figure out how much money is spent a year on cigarettes, you could go on a vacation with that money!

3) Oh, Yeah..it KILLS YOU.

OK, so let's refresh: you are paying to smell like and inhale smoke and for what? Positive health reasons? NO, no. Even if it was healthy, I don't think I'd find it worth it. But the fact that it actually KILLS YOU makes me really wonder. What is the appeal?!

What I Like to Call: 'The Name Shame'

In 2nd grade, I met this girl named Lindsey*. (*Name has been changed so as not to offend the real name, Rachel..oops.) Lindsey was one of the most obnoxious and annoying girls I ever met. From that point on, every Rachel--I mean Lindsey--I met was automatically conditioned to be annoying. Oddly enough, most were. But it was that girl who I met in 2nd grade that essentially ruined the name.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had others play victim to what I'll call "The Name Shame."
Whether it's someone we dated who turned out to be a d-bag or bitch, let's face it. People have ruined names for us. So much so, that when I sit down with my husband one day when we discuss baby names, I'm going to use some serious veto power.

James? Nope.
Can't name our son that.
My ex-boyfriends name was James.
Sarah? Not happening.
I worked with this girl Sarah who stalked me outside the office.

It's a shame but you know the phrase: sometimes you have to create a name for yourself.

Ok, fine. That phrase has no relation to this specific scenario, but maybe the celebs have it right when they name their kids Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow), Bronx (Ashley Simpson), Sunday (Nicole Kidman), and Knox (Brangelina).

Maybe you have your own thoughts on certain names. Maybe from this point on, you will forever associate the name 'Brooke' with someone who's opinionated, sarcastic and maybe even annoying. But one things for sure with representations like Brooke Shields, Brooke Burke and Brooke Burns, I'm OK with my company.

Can you say the same for your name?

Top 3 of the Week: Thoughts on the Oscars

1) The Martin-Baldwin Hosting Duo
When the Oscars announced there would be not one but TWO hosts this year, some wondered how it would work. The "It's Complicated" co-stars proved that it WAS complicated to make their presence felt in what could have been a more comical presentation. The duo seemed absent at times throughout the show, even though they were able to bounce their jokes off one another at the start. I wonder why the Academy felt compelled to give the open to Neil Patrick Harris though..perhaps he should have done what he has done best, which is host yet another award show. Or perhaps they should have tapped my #2 as host...

2) Ben Still as an Avatar
Every year Ben Stiller delivers the laughs at the Oscars (remember him mocking Joaquin Phoenix after his Letterman interview last year?) Stiller dressed as an Avatar and teased James Cameron, while a fishing rod controlling his tail. Classic. It is moments like this that remind us that the Oscars needed more moments like THIS. The show had two comedians hosting and the jokes were few and far between one technical category after another. With Stiller's spoofing ability, I'd like to see him considered as a host of the Oscars in 2011.


3) The Best and Worst Dressed of the Night
Was it Sarah Jessica Parker who showed up at the Oscars or Carrie Bradshaw? Parker had the most stunning and innovative dress of the night, and I'll be checking any store that sells a knockoff of the creative strap neckline that Chanel designed. Other notable best dressed: Merryl Streep looking stunning in a white long-sleeve gown, and Demi Moore in a strapless peach flowing dress that showcased just how great her 46-year-old body looks. Worst dressed? Sorry J. Lo, I'm not feeling the excess baggage hanging off your side and while I know Sandra Bullock wants to be taken seriously after her 1st Oscar nod, she was trying a little too hard to fit in with a look that appeared a bit off.

Rant of the Week: Weighing in on the Weight Issue

We all deal with weight fluctuation, and maybe I'm more anal about it than the next person for someone my frame, but it doesn't mean I don't have a right to want to be in the best shape I could be! Listen to my rant!